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Last night I attended a lecture called “Freedom of Choice & Development of the Will” at my daugther’s Montessori school in Toronto.  The speaker was Sandra Girlato, who is the director of training at The Foundation for Montessori Education in Toronto, Canada. Sandra proved to be a very entertaining speaker who inspired me to want to be a better parent.  Her parenting tips, for children between 1 and 6 years old, based largely on the Montessori thought, were just amazing.

The main theme of the lecture was the idea that children, even as young as 1 year old, need to be given the opportunity to make choices.  We as parents cannot do everything for them.  These choices that we can provide our children with come in the form of whether she will wear pants or a skirt today, to what colour socks he/she will wear, to what they want on the dinner plate from the choices you offer….just small choices, or choices about things that might seem trivial to an adult.  The younger the child, the simpler the choices you give them of course.  But by putting your child in a position where she or he will have to make such choices in their every day lives, you are promoting their ability to think and will eventually lead them to be confident, intelligent adults – with a strong will in them.

There were a few things that really brought the point home to me.  She said, for example, that most of our homes are not built for little kids, which is pretty obvious.  But she said if you want your children to be a little more independent and, for example, help themselves to (healthy) snacks, set up your pantry so that these choices are accessible to your kids.  She also mentioned that small children do not deal well with too much choice – she said that, for example, having too many toys at home creates bored children because it presents them with too many choices and they are almost unable to make a decision as to what to play with.

Sandra’s insight, and delivery in a very engaging and entertaining manner, provided me with amazing practical suggestions to improve my parenting.  All in all I took away the fact that children have a lot more ability than what we accredit them with…and slowing down can do wonders for little children and their families.  Let them butter their toast (even if they butter it on both sides), let them choose their clothes (even if the clothes don’t match)…it might make for a slower morning at the beginning, but it should be well worth it down the road.

Maria

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